Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Do I need a lawyer? Im taking my ex back to court for increase in child support? - Avvo.com

Do I need a lawyer? Im taking my ex back to court for increase in child support? - Avvo.com

Studies Consider Behaviors Predictive of Divorce

Studies Consider Behaviors Predictive of Divorce



Studies Consider Behaviors Predictive of Divorce
Posted on May 24, 2010 by Daniel Clement



The reasons why marriages fail and couples divorce have been studied ad nauseum. Apparently, everything, including your smoking habits, age and even the state in which you reside is predictive of your odds of divorce.

Annli Rufuse on the The Daily Beast details 15 of these studies. Here are some of the more interesting ones:

* If you live in a red state, you're 27 percent more likely to get divorced than if you live in a blue state.

In red-state couples traditionally in The Compassionate Community: Ten Values to Unite America, by Jonathan Miller and Al Goly marry younger—and the younger the partners, the riskier the marriage. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the states with the lowest median age at marriage are Utah, Arkansas, Kentucky, and Oklahoma.

(Source: National Vital Statistics Report, 2003; cited in The Compassionate Community: Ten Values to Unite America, by Jonathan Miller and Al Gore)

* If your parents were divorced, you're at least 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if they weren't. If your parents married others after divorcing, you're 91 percent more likely to get divorced.

This could be because witnessing our parents' divorces reinforces our ambivalence about commitment in a "disposable society," says Divorce Magazine publisher Dan Couvrette. "In most people's minds, it's easier to get a new car than fix the one you've got."



(Source: Nicholas Wolfinger, Understanding the Divorce Cycle, Cambridge University Press, 2005)

* If only one partner in your marriage is a smoker, you're 75 percent to 91 percent more likely to divorce than smokers who are married to fellow smokers.

"The more similar people are in their values, backgrounds, and life goals, the more likely they are to have a successful marriage," notes Tara Parker-Pope. From age to ethnicity to unhealthy habits, dissimilarities between spouses increase divorce risks.



(Source: Rebecca Kippen, Bruce Chapman and Peng Yu, "What's Love Got to Do With It? Homogamy and Dyadic Approaches to Understanding Marital Instability," Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research, 2009)

* If you have a daughter, you're nearly 5 percent more likely to divorce than if you have a son.

This figure multiplies with the numbers of daughters or sons. "We think it happens because fathers get more invested in family life when they have boys," says Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, a History and director of research for the Council on Contemporary Families.





(Source: Gordon Dahl and Enrico Moretti, "The Demand for Sons," published in the Review of Economic Studies, 2005)



* If you're of "below average" intelligence, you're 50 percent more likely to be divorced than those of "above average" intelligence.

Presented by University of Delaware education professor Linda Gottfredson, codirector of the Delaware-Johns Hopkins Project for the Study of Intelligence and Society, this figure joins assertions in Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray's controversial 1994 bestseller The Bell Curve that those with IQs of 100 face a 28 percent probability of divorce in the first five years of marriage, compared to just a 9 percent probability for those with IQs of 130.



(Source: Linda S. Gottfredson, "The General Intelligence Factor," Scientific American, Winter 1998, and Richard J. Herrnstein and Charles A. Murray, The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life, Simon & Schuster, 1994, page 176)



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5 yr old son biological father has never been around or on Birth Cert. I'm getting married in the next month. - Avvo.com

5 yr old son biological father has never been around or on Birth Cert. I'm getting married in the next month. - Avvo.com

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Psychological Effects of Divorce on Women | eHow.com

Psychological Effects of Divorce on Women | eHow.com

1. Even in an uncontested and relatively civil divorce, the lives of both partners are disrupted. The disruption is even more profound when children are involved. The legal and financial aspects of divorce can be devastating. For instance, according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, a woman's household income may decline by as much as 45 percent after a divorce. The emotional and psychological effects of divorce can also be profound and can persist long after the legal battles have been settled and finances have stabilized.
Guilt and Shame
2. Although divorce does not have the stigma attached to it that it had in past centuries, divorcing couples often feel a sense of guilt or shame. This is especially true if marital infidelity is involved or if there are young children in the household. The authors of "Collaborative Divorce," Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D., & Peggy Thompson, Ph.D., state that guilt and shame are a natural reaction to society's perceived or actual disapproval, as well as one step in the process of emotional adjustment to divorce.
Anger and Resentment
3. Anne Newton Walther coined the phrase "divorce hangover" to describe the syndrome of anger and resentment that frequently motivates women toward acts of revenge against their spouses. Dragging out the divorce proceedings or making it difficult or impossible for their ex-spouses to exercise visitation rights are just two of the most common tactics many women take to lash out against their ex-husbands. Holding onto their anger and expressing it in inappropriate ways prevents women from moving on with their lives, according to Walther.
Depression
4. Depression manifests itself in many forms. For women going through a divorce, depression often appears as overeating, insomnia or sleeping too much, excessive drinking or substance abuse, according to Tracy Achen, author of "Divorce 101: A Woman's Guide to Divorce." Divorce is a very real loss, and grief is a natural part of the process, explain Tesler and Thompson. Nonetheless, Achen recommends placing limits on the grieving process, devoting no more than 15 minutes per day at a specific time to concentrate on the pain of the divorce.
Ambivalence
5. Although acceptance of the end of the marriage is essential to the overall well being of both partners, making a clean break is often very difficult, according to Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT. Lancer claims that 16 percent of couples continue to have sex and 2/3 claim that the first person they would call in a crisis would be their ex-spouse. Many women cling to the futile hope of reconciliation, even when their ex-husbands have formed new relationships or even remarried. This ambivalence makes it difficult for the ex-partners and their children to develop a sense of equilibrium and move on with their lives.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Do I need an attorney to file for contempt of court for child visitation? - Avvo.com

Do I need an attorney to file for contempt of court for child visitation? - Avvo.com

Do I need an attorney to file for contempt of court for child visitation? - Avvo.com

Do I need an attorney to file for contempt of court for child visitation? - Avvo.com

"Frequent Fliers" At Court

A few people occupy the majority of a court's time with child custody and visitation "issues". As I told a client last week, when the Clerk and the courtroom bailiff are joking about you being back at court, you have overstayed your welcome. Judges, on occasion, have had to enter orders that require people to get advance court approval before they are allowed to file actions in court.
Why do these people have such problems? Of course, it is the other party's fault; but beyond that the constant court appearances indicate a more serious underlying personal problem. Until that is addressed appropriately, court will remain in the family's life.
Judge Michele Lowrance in "The Good Karma Divorce" points out that all of us have brain cells that are called mirror neurons. You respond to another person in the same fashion as they dealt with you. Hostility causes a hostile response and so on. Forever, if someone does not stop it.
Judge Lowrance also noted that many parties just cannot make a complete break from each other. They use court as a means of "staying relevant" in each other's lives. They pursue this negative emotional connection-even if they do not realize what they are doing. Court, however, is not a suitable forum to deal with this problem. Judges and lawyers cannot "fix" people. They have to fix themselves. To do this, they may need assistance from trained professionals in another setting.

How can I get a GAL into place before court, without a lawyer? - Avvo.com

How can I get a GAL into place before court, without a lawyer? - Avvo.com

A therapist may be of more benefit than a guardian ad litem.

What happens when you file papers with the magistrate for assault? - Avvo.com

What happens when you file papers with the magistrate for assault? - Avvo.com

Sunday, May 16, 2010

My husband and I have been living apart in separate states for over 6mos. I am going to buy a townhouse--can he legally own half - Avvo.com

My husband and I have been living apart in separate states for over 6mos. I am going to buy a townhouse--can he legally own half - Avvo.com

Legal Dis-services

Today on my walk around town, I encountered a man who had consulted with me a couple of times about his divorce. He and his wife had gone to mediation. He came for me to review the proposed mediated agreements. He offered to give his wife more than she ever could recover in court. She then asked for more. And he agreed to it in order to avoid the emotional wear and tear and the cost of a contested divorce. THEN she asked for even more! This time, the husband was done with making offers and hired a lawyer to handle a contested divorce-which is what the parties now have. One year now has passed. Each has spent a fortune on attorney's fees, and they still are not divorced.

A sad part of the story is that the wife was represented by an attorney who advised her to keep asking for more. The worst part of the story, however, is that the lawyer led (or misled) her to believe that she actually could get more. She now is coming to the realization that not only is she not going to get more, but she actually will get less. Much less when you factor in the attorney's fees.

There is nothing wrong with trying to maximize the client's recovery, but there is something wrong with creating false expectations.

Can I do an out of state second parent adoption? - Avvo.com

Can I do an out of state second parent adoption? - Avvo.com

Friday, May 14, 2010

How to Keep Legal Costs Down

Before meeting with your lawyer:
· Gather all information together in a logical order;
· Be sure you have current correct telephone numbers and addresses of interested parties and witnesses, if applicable;
· Prepare a written statement of your problems and what you want done;
· Make photocopies of everything and offer originals or photocopies to your lawyer. Let your lawyer decide if originals or the copies are needed.

During your initial consultation:
· Present an overall view of your position.
· Share all relevant information, let your lawyer decide what is not in your favor. It is much better for your lawyer to know, rather than be surprised later.

Discuss legal fees and related costs during your initial consultation:
· There are several ways in which legal fees can be computed. It is not always possible for attorneys to give you an estimate of their fees since they cannot control the other side of an issue. However, you should be prepared to discuss how much you are willing to invest in the resolution of your problem.
· In addition to the fee charged by your lawyer, there will probably be certain associated costs, such as costs paid to the court for filing fees, sheriff fees and costs for a court reporter. Most of these costs cannot be controlled by your lawyer, if the attorney is to be an effective advocate on your behalf.
· If your lawyer requests a fee deposit, sometimes called an "advance" or "retainer," ask whether or not any part of it will be refunded if you do not proceed. Money accepted for the payment of costs will be placed into your lawyer's trust account and any unused portion will be refunded to you. Fee retainers can be refundable or nonrefundable. Be sure you understand this point. On occasion, some lawyers may refund the unused portion of an advance or retainer after reimbursing themselves for any services actually performed.
.

From: Florida State Bar

Thursday, May 13, 2010

If you file for separation and then divorce using mediation will you have to appear in court? - Avvo.com

If you file for separation and then divorce using mediation will you have to appear in court? - Avvo.com

can my husband and i be legally separated and reside in the same household? - Avvo.com

can my husband and i be legally separated and reside in the same household? - Avvo.com

You need a corroborating witness to confirm the separation period.

just got my notice yesterday, and need to know what happens next? i was served here in va, and he's from tx do i have to show up - Avvo.com

just got my notice yesterday, and need to know what happens next? i was served here in va, and he's from tx do i have to show up - Avvo.com

I have primary custody of my child I am about to get married. I want to move to Flordia with him. Am I am going to be able to? - Avvo.com

I have primary custody of my child I am about to get married. I want to move to Flordia with him. Am I am going to be able to? - Avvo.com

I need to find out if my exwife has obtained passports for my children, how do I do this? - Avvo.com

I need to find out if my exwife has obtained passports for my children, how do I do this? - Avvo.com

You need both parents consent to obtain a child's passport.

My son will live with his father for one school year I live in Virginia and he lives in New Jersey, if he wants to file to chang - Avvo.com

My son will live with his father for one school year I live in Virginia and he lives in New Jersey, if he wants to file to chang - Avvo.com

i am a virginia fireman after 8 years of marriage I am divorcing and my wife si trying to get my retirement can she - Avvo.com

i am a virginia fireman after 8 years of marriage I am divorcing and my wife is trying to get my retirement can she - Avvo.com

Retirement benefits which accrued during the marriage are marital property.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Drivers License Suspension And Child Support

The Virginia Division of Child Support Enforcement has a powerful weapon with its ability to suspend a child support obligor's drivers license.
Virginia Code Section 46.2-320 provides:

B. The Commissioner may enter into an agreement with the Department of Social Services whereby the Department may suspend or refuse to renew the driver's license of any person upon receipt of notice from the Department of Social Services that the person (i) is delinquent in the payment of child support by ninety days or more or in an amount of $5,000 or more or (ii) has failed to comply with a subpoena, summons or warrant relating to paternity or child support proceedings. A suspension or refusal to renew authorized pursuant to this section shall not be effective until thirty days after service on the delinquent obligor of notice of intent to suspend or refuse to renew. The notice of intent shall be served on the obligor by the Department of Social Services (i) by certified mail, return receipt requested, sent to the obligor's last known addresses as shown in the records of the Department or the Department of Social Services or (ii) pursuant to Sec. 8.01-296, or (iii) service may be waived by the obligor in accordance with procedures established by the Department of Social Services. The obligor shall be entitled to a judicial hearing if a request for a hearing is made, in writing, to the Department of Social Services within ten days from service of the notice of intent. Upon receipt of the request for a hearing, the Department of Social Services shall petition the court that entered or is enforcing the order, requesting a hearing on the proposed suspension or refusal to renew. The court shall authorize the suspension or refusal to renew only if it finds that the obligor's noncompliance with the child support order was willful. Upon a showing by the Department of Social Services that the obligor is delinquent in the payment of child support by ninety days or more or in an amount of $5,000 or more, the burden of proving that the delinquency was not willful shall rest upon the obligor. The Department shall not suspend or refuse to renew the driver's license until a final determination is made by the court.

C. At any time after service of a notice of intent, the person may petition the juvenile and domestic relations district court in the jurisdiction where he resides for the issuance of a restricted license to be used if the suspension or refusal to renew becomes effective. Upon such petition and a finding of good cause, the court may provide that such person be issued a restricted permit to operate a motor vehicle for any of the purposes set forth in subsection E of Sec. 18.2-271.1. A restricted license issued pursuant to this subsection shall not permit any person to operate a commercial motor vehicle as defined in Sec. 46.2-341.4. The court shall order the surrender of the person's license to operate a motor vehicle, to be disposed of in accordance with the provisions of Sec. 46.2-398, and shall forward to the Commissioner a copy of its order entered pursuant to this subsection. The order shall specifically enumerate the restrictions imposed and contain such information regarding the person to whom such a permit is issued as is reasonably necessary to identify him.

D. The Department shall not renew a driver's license or terminate a license suspension imposed pursuant to this section until it has received from the Department of Social Services a certification that the person has (i) paid the delinquency in full, (ii) reached an agreement with the Department of Social Services to satisfy the delinquency within a period not to exceed ten years and at least one payment, representing at least five percent of the total delinquency or $500, whichever is greater, has been made pursuant to the agreement, or (iii) complied with a subpoena, summons or warrant relating to a paternity or child support proceeding. Certification by the Department of Social Services shall be made by electronic or telephonic communication and shall be made on the same work day that payment required by clause (i) or (ii) is made.

Do three domestic assault charges mandate jail time? compound felony? - Avvo.com

Do three domestic assault charges mandate jail time? compound felony? - Avvo.com

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Domestic Violence Facts

Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.

Nearly one-third of American women (31%) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.

Domestic violence is primarily a crime against women. Women account for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence, and men account for approximately 15% of the victims.

30% of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.

Women of all races and economic strata are equally vulnerable to violence by a partner or intimate.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the U.S. – more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.

Acts of domestic violence occur every 12 seconds in the U.S.

28 percent of all women who use hospital emergency services have been battered by their partners.

4,500 women are killed each year in the U.S. by abusive husbands or boyfriends.

20 percent of all murders are committed within the family, and 13 percent are committed by spouses.

Fact Sheets (provided by Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance)

Murder-suicide In Divorce Case

The linked article details the Klosterman murder-suicide. The situation shows the height of emotions that can be reached when people separate. There truly is a thin line between love and hate.

The article also hits very close to home. My first divorce client was murdered by her estranged husband. Their adult son later killed him the day before his father's murder trial was to begin. She had a Protective Order, but as I always tell my clients, you are responsible for your own safety. A piece of paper cannot stop a bullet.

The absolute need for early alternate dispute resolution and the use of mental health services cannot be demonstrated any more clearly.

What does the Non Custodial Parent need to provide? - Avvo.com

What does the Non Custodial Parent need to provide? - Avvo.com

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Lawyer Second Opinions

We live in a consumer driven world, yet many lawyers are offended when their clients seek a second opinion in their case. These same lawyers would not give a second thought to getting a second opinion of a doctor's diagnosis or treatment plan. This is no different. It is having another professional, who may have had different experiences and a different perspective, review the progress of the case. Sometimes, the second opinion serves no other purpose than to reassure the client that everything is going as should be expected. At other times, the "new" lawyer can make some suggestions that can be taken back to the current lawyer. A fresh set of eyes can often see things that have been overlooked in the day to day handling of the case.

Clients should not be reluctant to get second opinions, and lawyers should not be offended when they do. Most lawyers are not out to take away other lawyer's clients, and quite frankly, clients should be suspicious of lawyers who do try to do this during a second opinion consultation.